growing up

As I sit here in my cozy nook with just a mug of coffee and an empty page in front of me, I realize how much I love afternoons like this. It is so quiet and peaceful that it seems even the clock is ticking delicately, as if it doesn't want to break the silence.

It's on these days that I find myself in deepest thought. I have been thinking a lot lately about all of the things I took for granted as a child...all of the made up games, all of the stories both written and told, all of the stuffed animals that I owned, every moment shared with the people I love the most. I want to hold my breath--to make time stop. I don't want to leave my childhood behind, but I can't help it. I don't want to let it go.

Why was I so eager to finally grow up?

 I guess I never really thought about how much changes when you grow older...people change, circumstances change, feelings change, and interests change. (seriously, I really wish it wouldn't be weird at my age to spend hours playing with my dolls. :p) 

When two of my older siblings got married, I realized how short our younger years really were. I miss all of the crazy games, afternoons spent trading our toys, and our "treasure hunts" through the back yard. But most of all, I miss having them home all the time. I miss having all of us crowded around the dining room table for dinner, or squeezed on the couch for family devotions. I miss all of the games of capture the flag in the back yard, all the afternoons spent raking leaves, or building a snowman. 

And then I think about my younger siblings. What will they have to look back on when they are older? Will they have leaf jumping, snowman building, tea parties and afternoon bike rides? Will they have someone to look up to, someone to go to when they need a friend? I lose my patience with them far too often, but there are only so many more years left before I will be moving on as well. I don't want to waste them worrying about the stuffed animals on the bedroom floor, missing things, or broken belongings. I want to be the older sister that they need. I want to mean to them what my older sisters mean to me.  Take time to appreciate your siblings, older and younger, and work hard to build solid relationships with them. You won't regret it!

I still have a lot of growing up to do, but my deepest regret is that I was never content with being a kid. I was so busy wishing for the next big thing that I failed to live in the season I was in. So to all of you who are wishing you were older, wishing you could grow up and move on with life: Slow down. Enjoy life. Make memories. You may have many years ahead of you, but you will never get these years back again. And trust me, they really do fly past.

   ~Megan ♥