where you are

I don't know where you are right now

and I don't know what is going through your mind

what is making your heart soar

or making it sink

I don't know what you are laughing about

or crying about

what you are changing

or wishing you could change

but there is something that I know

and I am learning to remember always

that no matter where you are

God is forever constant

He is forever faithful

He holds the world

He holds you and I

and He never

ever

ever

gives up on us

so I'm not giving up

and please

you shouldn't either.

eighteen.

So I just turned 18.

I am an adult now. (wait, what?!) I don't feel like an adult, but how many people really do when they are this age? *please tell me I'm not alone, peoples* 
As a little kid, I always thought that eighteen would be a magical age when you get all the answers and figure out everything for your life. In fact, if you talked to me a year ago, you would know that I had big plans for this year. I definitely had a picture of what my senior year would look like, but God has a way of showing us that HIS plan is greater and usually much different than our own!

To be honest, this year was tough. For a while, it seemed like nothing could possibly go right again. I felt stuck. I felt alone. And I struggled a lot with fear. I was worried and stressed about things that were quite insignificant, really. There were so many things happening all at once and everything inside of me was screaming against it.

No, I didn't know that I was going to struggle with fear. I didn't anticipate losing a pet. I didn't want to find out about that "friend." I didn't know that I would reach a point where I didn't have any clue what was happening or why it was happening.

But it happened.

And it was necessary, because God used my struggles for good. He is using them for good.

Through my battle with fear, I have come to know the importance of vulnerability. When we tell a trusted friend about the things that hurt, the things that we dread, and the things we struggle with, we expose them. We bring them to the light, and the darkness is dispelled in the blinding truth of the Gospel. The hurt is healed by the love and grace of our Heavenly Father, and we no longer dread what is to come because we are never alone.

After all that happened this year, I found it difficult to feel excited about next year. However, I have realized how important it is to remember that God is still in control. Everything is working out for good. Even the hard things that brought me down are shaping me into who He wants me to be, and they are bringing me closer to Him. I am learning to let go of my fear and hand it to God. On my own, I can't handle it. I really can't. But through HIS strength, I can. And so can you.

You can live loved, because you are. You can live confidently, because you have victory in Him. No matter how inadequate you feel, no matter how small, unimportant, or awkward you think you are, just remember this: If you are a follower of Christ, your identity is found in HIM, not what you feel like, what you did, or what people think of you. You are chosen. You are loved. You are forgiven. And you can't ever change that.

No matter what your year looked like, you don't have to stay in a place of doubt. There is grace for every day, and every morning, you can start over. Start each day with renewed faith in God, with hope, joy, and excitement for the amazing plans he has for you. Trust me, He has AMAZING plans for you! Not only that, He gives you just the right amount of strength that you need to get through today, and He is not going to abandon you.

It is hard, but I am learning this every day. I am learning to let go. I am learning to replace the fear with faith, the doubt with trust, and the dread with hope. But most importantly, I am learning to give my frustrations and fears over to the only One who can truly handle them. Because that is the only way to truly find freedom. 

♥♥♥

Thank you for reading this rather rambling post..I haven't blogged in so long, and it felt SO good to get my thoughts written down, no matter how un-sorted they may be. :p

Much love! ♥

grow.

Can you believe that January is already over? We have made it through the first month of 2017! *claps* 
 I have always been big into goals and resolutions, but this year I really just wanted to learn and grow, both in my comfort zone and in my relationship with Christ. Life is hard, but it is so amazing. And God. God is so good. Even just this month, I have really seen Him working all around me, and it has been incredible. He is teaching me so much, I am finding things that surprise me every single day, and I have experienced so much grace and love. It is overwhelming. I have a lot of growing to do, and there is always so much more to learn, but I am finally getting to a point where the thought of growing up and experiencing new things isn't as scary.
Take the leap. One of the big things that I wanted to do this year was grow and expand out of my comfort zone. I am graduating, a lot of things are changing in my life, and I really wanted to just take this year to grow and experience things that I normally wouldn't. I get nervous about things very easily, and lately I have really had a big struggle with fear, but I have decided not to let that stop me anymore. The only way to overcome the fear is to quit listening to it and listen to God's voice instead. I am taking chances that I would normally be totally freaked out about, and I am choosing to listen to God's calling on my life, instead of letting Satan's lies control me. There is such freedom in acting on faith, and while I know it isn't going to always be easy, I know it is what God has called me to do. So I am taking the leap. I'm doing the thing. And I refuse to give in to fear anymore.

Love and kindness are always worth it. You know those people who make your day so much better just by one little thing they do or say? You could be having the worst day of your life, but talking to them or even sometimes seeing them and getting an encouraging smile is all you need to feel better. I know people like that and it blows my mind to see the love that they show other people. They have made a habit of kindness, and that is an extraordinary thing. Kindness is something that seems scarce in the world, especially right now. Things that bring differing opinions also bring harsh language, rude comments, and angry insults from both sides. I'm not saying we should all agree; I am saying that our disagreements can be handled with dignity and love. The world would be a much, much better place if we were more kind about the way we communicate.

Life is truly beautiful. The beauty of life is in the snowflakes falling softly on the ground, it's in the laughter in a group of friends, it's in the giggling of a baby, it's in the inquisitive little squirrels gathering seed, it's in community, family, nature, silence. Life is not only full of gifts, it is a gift. And with the life that we have been given, we can share that gift. Be the gift. Appreciate the gifts God has given us. It is hard, and even seems impossible at times, but there is nothing quite like the joy that you experience from searching for the little gifts and being truly thankful to the Giver for them.
 
A solid group of friends is priceless. This month, I have come to realize the importance and treasure of my Christian friends. It is such an encouragement to have a place to be vulnerable, to share struggles, and give each other advice and support. Community is extremely important. Believe it or not, everyone is going through something, and when you can talk about your struggles together, you may even find that someone else is going through the exact same thing you are. It is always important to have a group of people to keep each other accountable and work through struggles together with lots of prayer. I am beyond grateful for the real, authentic friends that I have in my life right now. You guys are extraordinary and beautiful souls, and I cannot say enough about how much of a blessing you are! ♥ 

God's Word is so important. I have really begun to realize the value of the Bible this month. It is the most powerful weapon against the devil's lies, it is comfort when I am worried, it is full of convicting truths and advice about literally everything that could happen in my life. It is so, so valuable, and I am experiencing the sweetness of God's Word more and more every day!

I will never be perfect, but God is. I am someone who loves things to be in order. I tend to be a perfectionist, and when things are messy or unorganized, it drives me crazy and I feel like I have to fix it. That not only goes for things around me, but also for my own character and life. I know my flaws, and I want to be perfect. I want to fix myself. But the thing is, God did not choose me because I was perfect. Jesus did not die because I was flawless. Instead, he died for me because I was just the opposite. Because I am so flawed that I cannot possibly change without Him. Because He loves me even though I am a sinner. And that is a beautiful thing. I am learning that I don't have to "clean myself up" so God will accept me. He has asked me to give Him all of my broken, messy, ugly humanness, and let Him change me from the inside out. When I allow Him to exchange all I am for all He is, that is where I need to be. I will never be perfect in this life. It is not possible. But I am being changed and transformed by a God who is perfect and who is full of mercy and love. He has taken my broken mess of a life and is weaving it into His story. That is an extraordinary thing, and I am so, so grateful!

i'm ok

the problems

the worries

the heartache

added up and

left me sitting here

wondering why and

what happened to my life

but in the middle of all that was when

i felt Him closer than ever

as He wrapped his loving arms around me

and whispered to my soul that

"I will never leave you or forsake you."

it's been a crazy month

i've hurt a lot

but i've healed a lot

i've been through a lot

but i've come out of a lot

and no matter what happens

i won't give up

i will keep fighting

i'm coming out of the fog

finally in the light

and i have a new appreciation

for deep and real friendships

for life

for standing strong

and fighting

but mostly

for my beautiful Savior

who taught me how to fight

and who carried me through the tumult of my fear

so yeah

things were tough for a while

but my God is faithful

and He never fails

and because of that

i can now say with all the confidence in the world that

i'm ok.

♥ 

___________________________________________________________________________

So after being so encouraged by the amazing amount of vulnerability in the blogosphere lately, I decided to share a little bit of my heart in hopes that it will encourage you. I have learned so much this month, and I am really excited to see what God has in store for me!

Have a lovely day! :)

~Megan ♥

**Also ALSO finally joined Instagram this week! I couldn't find all you lovely blogger frens so if you are on there lemme know so we can keep in touch!! ♥

The Most Important Lesson Learned in My Teenage Years (feat. Bonnie)

Hello, everybody! This week I have a bonus post going up! *confetti and cheering* 
Today I'm really excited, because I am doing a post swap with Bonnie!! This girl is amazing, and I have been over the top with excitement the whole time we've been planning this! Bonnie has an amazing blog, and if you aren't already following it, you should, because SHE'S FABULOUS. She is so full of wisdom, and I am honored to have her share some of that with you today on my blog!  I also did a post over on Bonnie's blog, so if you want to, you can go read that here!
Ok, I'm going to stop gabbing now and hand it over to Bonnie!  

First of all, I’d like to extend a big thank you to Megan for kindly allowing me the opportunity of posting on her blog. Guys, she’s awesome! :)

Since we’re doing a guest post swap, today Megan is posting over on my blog, Bonnie’s Blessings. We’re each answering the question: "What is the most important lesson you have learned in your teenage years?"

This is going to be fun! Let’s get into it!

In May 2016 I turned the ripe old age of 18. This means, ladies and gentlemen, that I am now legally recognised as an adult by the government of New Zealand. Which is kind of scary but also quite exciting.

It also means that most of my teenage years are gone. My teenage years have been fantastic. I have had the privilege of being homeschooled. I got a part time job when I was 15 and have been doing a course part time while still being ‘officially’ homeschooled. I help out at Christian kid’s camps most holidays and have activities directed and assistant directed them (which is SO. MUCH. FUN!). I’ve met heaps of awesome people. I went skydiving. I went on a mission trip to China. I’ve had triumphs. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve cried; and laughed; and learned a lot. About God. And about myself. 

 

But if I was to pinpoint one, most important, lesson that I’ve learnt?

It would be this:

Don’t take yourself too seriously.

The Bonnie-of-the-past has always been someone who has the tendency to take herself seriously. And I think that this links back to holding my opinions of myself too high - this is called pride!

When I made mistakes, I would beat myself up about it. Because I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t try hard enough. I had failed. (Yes, that naughty F-word. Failure.)

But I’ve learnt that failure isn’t fatal. It’s merely feedback.

Failure isn’t something to be ashamed of. We all make mistakes! We all try… and miss the mark sometimes. Yes, sometimes we’ll make it. But sometimes we won’t. 

 

And the key is to learn from your mistakes. And to keep trying. To keep doing new things, to keep trying again and again and again. To not take yourself too seriously. Don’t hold yourself up to that ridiculously high pedestal!

Our loving Father’s heart for us is for us to glorify Him in all that we do. And when we beat ourselves up over our mistakes, isn’t that sending a certain message? Isn’t that saying, “God, I don’t like the way you’ve made me. This body of mine can’t do the things I want it to do. This brain can’t do the things I’ve decided I HAVE to do. Not only have I failed, YOU’VE failed!” 

Friends, God doesn’t fail. He doesn’t make mistakes. You are not a mistake.

Don’t take yourself too seriously. You have been made perfectly - fearfully and wonderfully! Think about what you are subconsciously saying to God when you’re disgusted with yourself about something you’ve done or failed to do.

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again (mostly because I’m trying to convince myself of it :P) - failure isn’t fatal! It’s simply feedback.

Learn from your mistakes. Our loving God is always with us, supporting and encouraging us. He isn’t our coach, criticizing us in all our efforts. He’s our support. He is team YOU. He’s on your side!

I’m starting to realise that mistakes are okay. And I think that’s a really cool thing to know, and to remember, and to remind yourself of, because it takes the pressure off!

Who wants unnecessary pressure on them? *looks around expectantly and nobody raises their hands* I thought so. Nobody does!

When we take ourselves less seriously, we’re able to see the humour in situations and find the silver lining when things don’t go the way we want it to.

I’ve learnt a lot in my teenage years. But this one lesson of not taking myself too seriously is really important to me.
My hope, for you, is that if you find you’re taking yourself too seriously, you’ll remember that failure isn’t fatal - it’s merely feedback.

May you have a blessed day! :)

  
About the Author:
Hey! I'm Bonnie - nice to meet you! I’m the second eldest of a big family and live in the South Island of New Zealand. I’m a journaler, chocolate addict and a lover of beautiful music (especially violin!). My desire is to glorify the Lord with my life! I’d love to catch up with you through my blog, Bonnie’s Blessings.

5 Ways To Get Writing Inspiration

At some time or another, we have all been out of writing ideas. You may be sitting at your desk, racking your brain for an hour, but you still can't think of anything to write about. It is a very frustrating place to be! When you are in a rut, it is tempting to give up in despair, but you shouldn't! I came up with a list of five of my favorite ways to get inspiration when I have hit a dry patch creatively. I hope that these help you get back on track and writing again! 

1.) Have an emergency list of ideas available:
On your really good writing days or when you are overflowing with ideas, write down as many of them as you can! Keep a list of them handy so that when you are having a hard time thinking of things to write about, you can refer back to this list. Since I heard this tip (and learned to write down my ideas when I had them!), I have had a much easier time getting inspiration for a project!

2.) Read other writers' work: 
When I am running dry on inspiration, it sometimes helps if I read some of my favorite blogs or books. Sometimes, simply reading good writing inspires me! As far as blogging, there are also some really great ideas that you can get from other bloggers! Be careful that you aren't stealing their writing, however. There is a difference between using someone's idea and copying their work. It's always good to put your own creative twist on an idea to make it your own. 

3.) Decorate/personalize your writing space:
Having a pretty writing space can really help with inspiration. Hang some cute pictures on the wall, print off some of your favorite quotes, or do whatever you want to do to make it visually appealing. It makes me want to write more when my space is neat, organized, and looking really cute. Take a day to give your writing space a little makeover! 

4.) People watch:
Ok, this may sound slightly creepy, but it works!! If you want a really good story, go sit in a coffee shop or restaurant for a few hours and just watch the people around you. (don't just sit and stare, though...that's when it becomes creepy. :p) Ever since I was little, I have loved to make up stories about strangers around me. Who knows, you could write a book based off of the three people in the checkout line at the grocery store! It is a really creepy awesome way to get a good story line! Now divide and creep conquer, my fellow writers!!

5.) Just write!
Last, but not least, just sit down and write! It doesn't always matter if you have coherent sentences or not. You can even tear up the page and throw it away when you're done! Whatever you do, don't stop writing just because you can't think of something to write about. Sometimes, it is good to take a break if you are really struggling, but if it is possible, try to get something down on a page every day. If you continue to write, it really does become easier to get yourself out of a rut. 

"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." ~Jack London 

Have you ever been completely dry of ideas?
What are your favorite ways to get writing inspiration?

Have a lovely day! :) 

 ~Megan ♥

 

Read my last post here: City of Ember book review

Being a Writer | What I've Learned

I love writing. However, being a writer is really hard. Sometimes, words come easily, I am full of ideas and inspiration, and everything seems perfect. Other times, I can't seem to get a sentence straight, I have nothing to write about, and WHY WON'T THE NEIGHBOR'S DOG STOP BARKING I CAN'T FOCUS!!

I wrote my first "novel" when I was about ten years old, and (thank goodness!) I have come very far from that! Writing is a learning process. The longer you do it and the more you push yourself, the more you learn and the better you get. I am by no means an expert, but I have learned a few things over the years that have really helped me become a better writer. 

// When you get an idea, write it down:

I learned this the hard way, and I am sure that many of my other writer/blogger friends will agree with me! (right?) I cannot count how many times I have had a really good idea for a project or something, but I think, "Oh, I'll remember that...it's such a good idea that there is no way I'll forget it!" You will forget it. It's terrible. Take my word for it and never fall into the black hole of that thinking. If you do remember your idea again, it will be at two in the morning. :p So yes. Write it down. You won't regret it!

// Don't compare yourself to other writers:

This one is so important. For a long time, I struggled with comparing myself to other writers. Their writing style seemed better, their blog design was better, and I thought there was no way I could ever be as good as them. What I was failing to realize was that writing is all about creativity. Writing is an art, and each individual writer will have their own style. It wouldn't be half the fun if everybody sounded the same! If it helps at all, don't even read other people's work before you write! Your writing should be something that you love to do, and something that you can call your own. After a while, you will develop your own style, and you should stick with that. No writer is ever perfect! Even the greatest authors will tell you that there is always room for improvement. Be original with your writing, and don't worry about being different!   

// Connect with other writers:

I have just started realizing how amazing connecting with other writers is. Growing up, my best friend and I would write stories, books, plays, and poems together all the time. Even though we live really far apart now, we still love to talk about writing, our current projects, and all of the fun stuff that goes along with it. Since I have gotten more into blogging, I have met so many beautiful people and learned so much from them! There is a great network of bloggers/writers out there, and it has been an incredible thing to get to know them all! Find a way to connect with your fellow writers! We share lots of virtual hugs, squeals, flailing, and food. It's great. ♥  (Please be careful connecting with other people on the internet though...there are lots of creepers out there. :p)

// Forget about the "rules of writing":

This may sound strange, but let me explain. When I first started looking up writing advice, tips for beginners, novel writing help, etc., I was bombarded by lists upon lists of rules for writing. While there are certain things that really should be avoided in writing, there are other things that could limit your style and creativity in the matter. For instance, I was told that outlining and plotting everything was a necessary step to writing a novel. I tried doing that with several projects, and after picking apart my idea so much, it makes me eventually dislike it entirely. I'm not saying that plotting and planning your work is bad (in fact, it is a method that many people use and love!), but I am saying that it isn't necessarily for everyone. If it isn't for you, forget about it! Don't lose your creativity in a maze of rules. Write with your own originality and style. If people are reading and loving what you wrote, you have succeeded!

// Don't give up:

Like I said before, writing is hard. Really hard. Sometimes you will feel like ditching the entire idea of being a writer. Every writer has had one of those days, but you will get through that! Sometimes, you may just need to take a break. I have found that when I try too hard to get a project exactly the way I want it, it leave me feeling discouraged and doubtful of my abilities. Simply taking a step away from a project can help you gain a new perspective and attack it with fresh zeal. When you are doing something you love, you will know it. Writing takes time, patience, and a whole lot of effort, but it can be so rewarding. Push through the dry patches, and whatever you do, don't give up. It will all be worth it. ♥

Have a lovely day! :)

 ~Megan ♥