Friday, February 2, 2018

live free.

It seemed to hit out of nowhere. All of the sudden, I wondered what was wrong with me..why I couldn't look like her, talk like her, be as funny or as stylish as her. Comparison. It had hit me and I spiraled into a mindset of constant pressure. I had to make sure I looked a certain way so that I didn't stand out or look weird. I had to make sure I didn't laugh too much. My hair had to be just so, and I hated myself if I had any sign of blemishes on my face.

If I could just be as pretty as her...
If I could just be as funny as her...
If I could just have a perfect life like she seems to have...
If I could just write like her...

But I couldn't.

I was so focused on myself, my image, and measuring up to the people around me that I forgot what really mattered. I forgot who I was in Christ. I forgot that He set me apart, that He has a unique plan for me, and that His opinion is the only one that I need to be concerned about. People change, trends change, and I'm never going to be "good enough." But God never changes. I cannot afford to be distracted from the purpose and path God has laid before me because I want my life to look like someone else's. And neither can you.

Because the reality is, we are not supposed to be the same. We are created uniquely, set apart for a specific purpose that God has in place for each of us individually. Your purpose is not going to look like my purpose, his purpose, or her purpose. We are not meant to look the same, think the same, act the same, or talk the same. We are meant to be the unique, set-apart individuals that God has called us to be, and we are meant to seek His will and follow it wholeheartedly.

The truth of it is, their life isn't perfect either. Their heart has surely been broken and I'm sure they feel a bit awkward and afraid sometimes, because don't we all? You may not know all the messy, broken pieces of every human, but they are there. We all have our scars, our secret hurts, our flaws that we pick out, and our insecurities. No matter how it may look online, no human is more put together than the next. Don't forget that. Spend your time helping others, encouraging and walking through life together. We are to have community with our sisters in Christ, not competition.

Let's take our eyes off of ourselves and look up. Let's stop beating ourselves up for things that aren't important in light of eternity. Let's shift our focus to the God who never changes, the only God who is Holy, Sovereign, True, and full of grace. Let's remember who we are in Christ, not how we look next to other people. Don't waste your time and your life wishing it looked like someone else's.

My love, live free. Live free in the grace and the love that our perfect Heavenly Father gives, because when you are following Christ and captivated by Him, He will lead you in the most glorious purpose you could ever know. After all, He's been planning this since before the world began.

//megan ♥

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

where you are

I don't know where you are right now
and I don't know what is going through your mind
what is making your heart soar
or making it sink

I don't know what you are laughing about
or crying about
what you are changing
or wishing you could change

but there is something that I know
and I am learning to remember always
that no matter where you are
God is forever constant
He is forever faithful
He holds the world
He holds you and I
and He never
gives up on us

so I'm not giving up
and please
you shouldn't either.

Thursday, November 30, 2017


I am finally back after three months of not blogging. (Do you even remember who I am? I wouldn't blame you at all if you didn't.) In some ways, it has not felt like that long, but in other ways, I feel like it has been FOREVER since I was writing last. I have tried to write a few times, but I have been in a bit of a rut, so I'm having to force myself to just write. I feel like I always have the same excuse--that my life is crazy. But I have realized that my life will probably always be crazy, so I am just going to make writing a bigger priority and make it happen. I've really missed it. I haven't even been keeping up on everyone else's blogs either and I really just needed a life-catch-up day, so that's what today has been for me.

First of all, I moved a few states away with my family in September, so our lives were a bit upside down for a while! As we were settling in, I got a job, and I worked there for a month before deciding to switch because of some pretty bad situations there. I have another job interview at Hobby Lobby today, so I'm hoping and praying that I get this one! I'm not always the most craft-oriented person, but I really like that store.

I have been learning so much the past few months about relying on God and moving forward with what I know he is calling me to do. I am someone who loves to plan the future, but I also tend to overthink the past, and I hold on to SO much. God has really been teaching me that I need to give over my fears and anxiety about the future, along with my bitterness or hurt from the past and fully rest in Him, right now, where he has me. It's been a hard lesson, but I am learning that HIS ways are best, HIS plans will succeed, and He will always fulfill his promises. It's been a big learning process just leaning on Him and relying on His strength to get through this moment, without stressing about what I could've done or what I may end up doing.

Another thing I have been learning is that I can't please everyone. I struggle BIG TIME with comparison and people-pleasing. I never fully realized how much I struggled with it until it dominated so much of my life that I had to pull away from social media and many other things to re-gain my focus. I still worry way too much about what people will think of me, but God is teaching me every day that when I am in line with what He is telling me to do and when I am following His lead, not everyone is going to think well of me, and that's ok. So many of my worries are about trivial things, but what truly matters is that I follow Him and represent Him with my life and actions. I know people say this all the time, but I am learning that I can't make everyone happy, and no matter how many comments other people make on my appearance, personality, decisions, etc., I can't allow that to run my life to the point where I am changing everything I like or focusing on things that don't truly matter in order to suit others. Honestly, I still struggle with this. I haven't figured out how to stop caring so much about others' opinions about me, but I am learning how to. And it has already taken away so much fear and anxiety when I keep my focus on who God is and what He has done. That is all that matters in light of eternity.

On the topic of following God's lead, there has been something on my mind for a long time, and I am really starting to get serious about it. This past year, I switched my blog over to more of a devotional style. While I still did funny posts and random things, what I have really wanted to do with my writing is use it as a tool to help reach other young people with God's truth. (Specifically girls, but really it could be anyone.) I have done some fiction writing in the past, but my absolute favorite thing is a more casual and journaling style of writing.  Ultimately, my dream is to launch a blog and form kind of an online Bible study/sisterhood completely devoted to speaking God's truth into each others' lives. I have thought about just re-doing the design and such on this blog, but I really feel like I need to start completely fresh and new, so I will be working on designing and putting together a new place for that. Now is the perfect time, since I am getting back into writing and getting serious about it. I don't know when exactly I will be ready to launch my new blog, but I may do it sometime around the New Year. I don't even have a name for it yet, so I have a lot of work ahead of me!

I feel like this post is extremely random and scattered, but at least I am writing again, and it feels amazing. If you made it this far, you deserve cookies. THANK YOU for sticking with me during this lonnnngg silence. I'm hopefully back for good this time. :)

 //What's new in your life?
//What has God been teaching you lately?

Much, much love,

Monday, August 14, 2017

Abbiee's Early Writings Tag | Horrendous Books I Wrote as a Child (and what I learned from them)

I am working on getting back into the swing of blogging, and I thought a tag would be a great way to help with that! As it happened, Hailey Hudson at Now All I Know is Grace tagged me in Abbiee's Early Writings Tag!

OK, first of all, Abbiee is a genius for coming up with this tag, and it is a hilarious post to read! (It also makes me feel a lot better about the terrible stories I wrote when I was younger, and I needed that. :p) In this tag, I will expose my terrible stories to the world and talk about what I learned from them. I hope you are excited, because I am about to publicly embarrass myself.

I started writing when I was quite young...probably around seven or eight years old. In my mind, my stories were the BEST BOOKS EVER, and I had the dream of being a famous author. (still hasn't happened, but we'll get there.. :p) My books were very short...mainly because 1.) I wrote all of them by hand in a notebook, and 2.) I didn't have the patience to let the story develop because I was so excited about the ending.

1. The Adventures of Robert Anderson
This book was actually the first in a series of four, and I was extremely proud of them. I changed a few details, but definitely copied a different book series that I was obsessed with at the time. However, I got very upset if any of my well-meaning siblings told me that I was copying. :p
The book is about a boy named Robert Anderson. *surprise, surprise* He was an only child, so his parents decided (very randomly) to adopt a sister for him. As a little kid, I thought the adoption process consisted of walking into an orphanage, picking a kid, signing papers, and leaving with them. (very concerning, I know) The girl they adopted was named Jessica. Later on, they end up adopting another boy, who I decided was Jessica's long-lost brother, and I wrote a very emotional and tear-jerking *cough cough* chapter about it.
The rest of the books consisted of the mother having twins, the kids finding a secret tunnel in their basement, Jessica getting lost at the zoo (based off of when that happened to me), and their cousins becoming their neighbors. It was bad. Really bad. But through the cheesy cliches of my "famous writings," I learned a few things.

- Never copy another writer's work
- Make your characters have flaws. Mine were sickeningly perfect
- The adoption process is more complicated than I thought
-Secret tunnels are not in everyone's basements

2. The Life of Jessica Marie Stewart
This story was similar to the Robert Anderson book I wrote, but from the perspective of the orphan. Jessica was adopted by an older, rich couple with no other kids at home. This was a classic example of when I made the middle of the book boring and rushed the ending, because I thought it was amazing. There is a surprise ending with the couple's son-in-law finding out that Jessica is actually his biological sister. Again, another one of my weird "emotional surprises" that I loved to put into books. :p

What I learned:
- Never rush the ending of a book
- Not everyone has a long-lost relative
-Not all rich people have maids doing everything for them
- Some books are better left in the imagination

3. Called By God
This book. This was the one that I was SURE would be published someday. I got SO mad at my sister when she told me that I misspelled a bunch of words and had bad grammar. Looking back at it, I can only laugh. It is terribly written.
The story is about a guy who grew up and decided (very last minute) that he wanted to be a missionary. He told his parents and left the next day for college. He and one other student were the only ones to make it, and (surprise surprise) they got married.
The rest of the book is basically about them going to the jungle and becoming missionaries to the people of a village there. By the end of the book, the entire village was converted. However, I didn't want it to be too cheesy, so I had the witch doctor run away and never come back. I wanted to make sure it didn't have a 100% happy ending, you know?

What I learned:
- You can't just walk into a Bible school on a whim and get a degree
- Generally, more than 2 people graduate from college
- Heartwarming stories are great, but there is a certain level of unrealistic that should be avoided

After writing those books, I started, but never finished another one. I didn't really do any writing for years after that, and in the past few years I have just gotten back into it. Hopefully my current novel will turn out better? :p

OK, so now it's time for me to tag 5 other people! I tag...

This was a really fun (and embarrassing!) tag to do! Thank you so much for tagging me, Hailey! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! :)

Have a lovely day! ♥

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Dominican Republic Trip 2017

As many of you know, I just got back from a mission trip. I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to go, and I will never forget it. To be honest, when I first applied to go, I was very nervous, but I knew that this was what God wanted me to do. As the trip got closer, my nerves gradually went away, and I was very excited to see what God was going to do there. I was part of a team from my youth group that consisted of 11 people, and very early on a Sunday morning, we headed out.

We partnered with another youth team from Oklahoma, and worked together to bring the Gospel to the people in the Dominican Republic. It was so neat that even though we had never met the other team before, we were able to quickly get to know each other and form friendships. We spent an entire week with them, and it was great. We went everywhere together, crammed on a bus that was always full of conversation, singing, or laughter. It was a huge blessing to work with their team, and I miss them a lot.

 During the week, we helped a group from the Dominican church with a VBS. It was so much fun to dance, sing, and play with the children that came. One of their favorite things was getting piggy-back rides, which we loved to give them! Their faces would light up when they recognized us, and their laughter was contagious. The days were long, and we were hot, sweaty, and usually pretty tired, but there was always more energy to give the kids. In Bible class, they loved answering questions and learning the rhymes and songs about the lesson. It was wonderful to see them eager to learn, and our mornings were full of love, laughter, and so much fun. We would try our best to learn their names and talk to them in our clumsy Spanish, which sometimes ended in helpless giggling. I was motivated to work on my Spanish even more! It was an incredible blessing to be with the kids, and I miss them. Of course, the week passed so quickly, and before we knew it, it was time to say goodbye.
(On a side note: I realized on this trip just how much I hate goodbyes. We met so many wonderful people and only got to spend a certain amount of time with them before having to leave, and when we did have to leave it was hard. It makes me realize the importance of using our time with other people wisely. Don't waste the time you have!)

After VBS, we had a weekend youth camp. A huge group of teens piled into buses on Friday afternoon and made the drive to camp. We spent the weekend worshiping together, playing crazy games, getting to know each other, and hearing incredible testimonies of God's goodness. It was so amazing to meet and hang out with all of the Dominican teens, and even though we didn't all speak the same language, there was no barrier too big for God. I met so many amazing people that weekend, and there are so many stories and jokes that I will never forget. There was always more people to meet, more things to learn about each other, more games to play, and more opportunities to praise God. Again, saying goodbye was extremely difficult, and I was once again reminded of how important it is to take advantage of the time we have with people. In the few days we had together, we were able to hang out, play games, look for tarantulas (and we found some!), or just sit and talk. Our days were filled with amazing memories, and they passed so much faster than we wanted them to. I miss it so much.

One of the things that I learned from this trip was how amazing our God is. I learned a lot about trusting Him for everything in the process leading up to the trip, and while I was on the trip, I experienced what happens when I put complete trust in Him. He works through anything, and when you let Him work, he does amazing things. We heard testimonies at camp, and it was so encouraging to hear how he worked in others' lives. His love and grace was (and is!) put on display through the people that shared. I am so grateful that He never changes, and that He is always faithful to us.

I mentioned this before, but I also learned a lot about how valuable our time is. We are given so many opportunities to share the Gospel, to show love, to serve, to form relationships, and yet we often waste our time doing trivial things. I was deeply convicted of how I spend my time. How much time do I spend hearing God's voice and reading His word compared to how much time I spend listening to the world's voice and reading social media? Do I spend more time in intentional, deep conversation with others, getting out of my bubble and forming relationships, or do I more often choose to stay in my own comfortable space? I have really been thinking a lot about that lately. It is so easy to waste time and not even realize you are doing it until it is too late. I want to be aware. I want to intentionally and fully live in the place God has put me, doing His will and seeking His glory in everything I do.

If you are feeling led to apply for a mission trip but you aren't sure if you want to, don't hesitate to do it! It isn't always easy to push past nerves and fear, but with God NOTHING is impossible. I now know from experience how amazing it is when you take the leap and let God work. It is absolutely worth it. ♥

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Seek the Lord First | (Guest Post by Sarah)

Hey, everyone! I know it's been a good while since I published a post--with all that has been going on in my house this summer, I haven't had a lot of time to write. However, I am going to be working on some new posts when I get back from a missions trip to the Dominican Republic and things slow down a bit!
This week, I have one of my best friends from Ohio visiting me. We have been talking a lot this week about growing up and living fully for God. Sarah is an amazing girl, and I am so grateful to have her as one of my closest friends! She is funny, cheerful, kind, but most of all, she is on fire for the Lord. I have been greatly encouraged by her. That is why I am SO excited to have her here on my blog today to encourage you! She has graciously put in so much time and effort for this post, and I hope you come away blessed!
~ Proverbs 19:21~
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. 

I turned 18 a mere six days ago, and I think (and sometimes stress about) graduation, college, a job, and my future in general. I tend to forget God and His sovereignty in my life. Especially when it comes to guys. A few months ago, I think I had just about convinced myself that at my age, thinking about guys all the time was not only natural but also was okay. After all, I thought, I’m going to get married SOMETIME, so I can’t just not always think about guys.  

That mindset was WRONG. Totally wrong. But it was also exactly what the culture around me and you thinks.

One day, though, my thinking about the whole guy thing changed forever, and it was all because of two simple verses from the Bible that I had never read before. 1 Corinthians 7:34-35 says, “There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.”  

We are supposed to…

Be focused on and prioritize the things of Lord

Be holy, both physically and spiritually

Be totally committed to our relationship with Lord

NOT be caught up in the things of the world (which is anything that hinders or distracts us from God, like guys, clothes, make up, video games, friends, school, exercise, or social media - all of which I am guilty of being distracted by…)

These two verses are God’s direction specifically to US as Christian young people. We should take them to heart first of all because they’re a command of God and because, according to the verse, this instruction is for our own good - “this I speak for your own profit”.

So why did these verses change my life? Once I read them, I knew what I should be doing with my life. Until God sees fit to bring my future husband and I together (whoever he might be), I am to focus on the Lord and the Lord alone, not the guys around me. I try to remember this verse: If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth - Colossians 3:1-2. And even though I sometime get distracted by other things in my life (e.g. looking around for the “the one”), with lots of God’s help, I am working on becoming the best Christian woman I can be. So if I would leave one thought with you, it would be this…

Grow in your relationship with the Lord. Wait on the Lord’s perfect timing and plan for you, and he will “bring all things to pass."

Saturday, June 10, 2017

Currently (In which I am in a creative rut and life is crazy)

Hello, everyone! Happy summer!! 
As you can probably tell by the title of this post, I've been in kind of a rut with blogging, and even writing in general. I haven't had much time to write lately, but when I do, I can't find the inspiration. Fellow writers, I know you've been there. It is very frustrating! However, one of the best ways to get past a rut is to write through it. SO, I'm writing about the fact that I don't know what to write, and in the meantime, I'll give you a bit of an update on what's going on!

A big time-consuming thing has been my family preparing for a move. If you have ever moved, you know what I mean when I say that it is time-consuming! It involves a lot of work to get the house ready to sell, and constant cleaning to keep the house ready for showings. Then, of course, there is the unpacking, organizing, and settling in when we get there!

Also, also I FINISHED HIGHSCHOOL! I am an official graduate, and it is SO exciting! After looking forward to it for so long, it feels amazing to be done. That alone is freeing up so much of my time, which I can devote to writing and blogging and reading alllll the books.

Another thing I have been doing is learning Spanish. I don't mean being able to say "hello" and such (because I think everyone can do that)...I mean being fluent. First let me say how excited I am about this. I love the sound of other languages, and I think Spanish is a really good one to know. I took a Spanish class before, but I am still really interested in the language, and I want to be able to speak it fluently. SO, with a pile of books and help from a friend, I am determined to learn the language! *attempts flying Superman pose* *probably falls over*

Other random happy things:
 -weekend road trips
-playing piano till my arms hurt
-playing volleyball in the dark
-wandering around downtown with a dear friend ♥
-homemade waffles
-90 degree days
-planning my writing area and getting wayy too excited about it
-Bible journaling (there are some really great prompts on Pinterest!) 
-iced coffee and free donuts

I am excited about this summer! There are so many things happening, and the busyness can make me stressed, but I am learning to appreciate the place God has me in right now and trust His plan for my future. There are some really exciting things coming up, and I am looking forward to all He has in store!

☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀

 What are you up to this summer? Did you graduate this year too? Any tips for learning a new language? 

Much love! ♥