It's hard to believe how fast this year went by. I feel like everybody says this, but for me, it really has been a whirlwind.I don't even know what to say about this past year. I went through so many times of joy, so many times of doubt, and I don't even really know what to think about it all.
One thing I do know, however, is that God has held me through every moment. No matter how many times I planted my feet and dug my fingernails into the ground of my selfish pride, He has never ceased to be with me, to love me, and to guide me. I have so much to learn, but I am beyond grateful for his unfailing love and all the times he has gently whispered to my heart to "be still." I struggle a lot with complete and total trust and faith in him. I allow myself too often to believe the lies of the devil, which inevitably cause me to doubt God. I have to continually remind myself that he is with me and he hasn't forsaken me. A big thing that I have learned (and that I am still learning!) is that no matter what happens, I absolutely cannot go by what I feel. I am learning what faith really means--simply taking God for what he says, and believing that all of his promises are true. Always. This is something that I really want to live by next year. No matter what I feel, God's words are true, I belong to Him, and nothing can ever change that.
Last year, I committed to counting 1,000 gifts. (you can read my post about it here) I will be completely honest and say that I did not meet this goal. I was really into it for several months, but I became lazy about it and failed to make it a priority. I know that I had so much more joy when I was taking the time to write down the little things that blessed me, and thanking God for each and every one of them. I was also able to go back and read over them later on, and it filled me with gratitude all over again! I lost that flow of constant joy when I stopped looking for the gifts and started becoming distracted by my fears and my failure. I miss it. I miss the joy and the thankfulness that I had towards God, and the way that it flowed from me to others. I deeply regret not following through with this, and I fully realize the effect that my frustration, impatience, and ungratefulness has had on my life and relationships. Not only with God, but also with other people. Don't get me wrong..I'm not saying at all that if you don't count gifts you will not have joy or thankfulness. I am saying when I was doing it, it opened my eyes and gave me a new perspective on life. The great thing about a new year is starting over. I am planning on doing this again, and this time I really want to follow through with my commitment.
Something that I have always been big into is setting goals. I love to see a list of things to work towards in front of me, and I find it to be very satisfying to be able to check those things off. Whether it is long-term or short-term, I will almost always have a list of things that I want to accomplish. I considered not coming up with a list of resolutions for next year, just because I didn't want to end up setting really unrealistic goals. I tend to become really disappointed with myself if I don't fulfill everything on my list, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to fall into that again. However, I changed my mind and set a few anyways. I decided this year that if I would set a few bigger, more long-term goals, but also set smaller ones for each month, I could progressively work towards accomplishing the big picture. We'll see how it works out. :)
This post seems to be all over the place and rather sober, but I really wanted to just sit down and type what was on my mind. Honestly, I'm looking forward to a new year. I have learned a lot in 2015, and my hope is that I will be able to grow and learn a lot more in this next year.
To my family and all of my amazing friends that I have been blessed with this year: I love you all so much, and you have each left fingerprints on my heart that will be there forever. Thank you for all that you have done, and the many ways you have impacted my life. I can't wait to spend many more years with you!
~Megan ♥
Read my last post here: Anne of Green Gables Reading Challenge
I printed this post and your post on "Mornings" off and put it on my cork board. Great read and very encouraging. ~Abby
ReplyDeleteAww! I feel honored. :)
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