11.30.17

I am finally back after three months of not blogging. (Do you even remember who I am? I wouldn't blame you at all if you didn't.) In some ways, it has not felt like that long, but in other ways, I feel like it has been FOREVER since I was writing last. I have tried to write a few times, but I have been in a bit of a rut, so I'm having to force myself to just write. I feel like I always have the same excuse--that my life is crazy. But I have realized that my life will probably always be crazy, so I am just going to make writing a bigger priority and make it happen. I've really missed it. I haven't even been keeping up on everyone else's blogs either and I really just needed a life-catch-up day, so that's what today has been for me.

First of all, I moved a few states away with my family in September, so our lives were a bit upside down for a while! As we were settling in, I got a job, and I worked there for a month before deciding to switch because of some pretty bad situations there. I have another job interview at Hobby Lobby today, so I'm hoping and praying that I get this one! I'm not always the most craft-oriented person, but I really like that store.

I have been learning so much the past few months about relying on God and moving forward with what I know he is calling me to do. I am someone who loves to plan the future, but I also tend to overthink the past, and I hold on to SO much. God has really been teaching me that I need to give over my fears and anxiety about the future, along with my bitterness or hurt from the past and fully rest in Him, right now, where he has me. It's been a hard lesson, but I am learning that HIS ways are best, HIS plans will succeed, and He will always fulfill his promises. It's been a big learning process just leaning on Him and relying on His strength to get through this moment, without stressing about what I could've done or what I may end up doing.

Another thing I have been learning is that I can't please everyone. I struggle BIG TIME with comparison and people-pleasing. I never fully realized how much I struggled with it until it dominated so much of my life that I had to pull away from social media and many other things to re-gain my focus. I still worry way too much about what people will think of me, but God is teaching me every day that when I am in line with what He is telling me to do and when I am following His lead, not everyone is going to think well of me, and that's ok. So many of my worries are about trivial things, but what truly matters is that I follow Him and represent Him with my life and actions. I know people say this all the time, but I am learning that I can't make everyone happy, and no matter how many comments other people make on my appearance, personality, decisions, etc., I can't allow that to run my life to the point where I am changing everything I like or focusing on things that don't truly matter in order to suit others. Honestly, I still struggle with this. I haven't figured out how to stop caring so much about others' opinions about me, but I am learning how to. And it has already taken away so much fear and anxiety when I keep my focus on who God is and what He has done. That is all that matters in light of eternity.

On the topic of following God's lead, there has been something on my mind for a long time, and I am really starting to get serious about it. This past year, I switched my blog over to more of a devotional style. While I still did funny posts and random things, what I have really wanted to do with my writing is use it as a tool to help reach other young people with God's truth. (Specifically girls, but really it could be anyone.) I have done some fiction writing in the past, but my absolute favorite thing is a more casual and journaling style of writing.  Ultimately, my dream is to launch a blog and form kind of an online Bible study/sisterhood completely devoted to speaking God's truth into each others' lives. I have thought about just re-doing the design and such on this blog, but I really feel like I need to start completely fresh and new, so I will be working on designing and putting together a new place for that. Now is the perfect time, since I am getting back into writing and getting serious about it. I don't know when exactly I will be ready to launch my new blog, but I may do it sometime around the New Year. I don't even have a name for it yet, so I have a lot of work ahead of me!

I feel like this post is extremely random and scattered, but at least I am writing again, and it feels amazing. If you made it this far, you deserve cookies. THANK YOU for sticking with me during this lonnnngg silence. I'm hopefully back for good this time. :)

 __________________________________

 //What's new in your life?

//What has God been teaching you lately?

Much, much love,
//megan